It’s begun. The eating marathon of December is upon us. I have already lined up two Christmas dinners and when I’m not going to be eating them I’m going to be talking about them.  One Christmas dinner actually required a spreadsheet and a total of 47 emails (and counting) to organise.  Christmas meals seem to blend into one slightly hazy experience of overcooked meat, bad chocolates and the baffling appearance of sprouts.  It is a fact no one likes them, no matter how many pieces of pancetta and chestnut Jamie Oliver resolutely shoves in a pan with them.  So I’m heading out (or giving up) and booking a dinner I’ll enjoy, served to me by someone I don’t know. I’m leading a Christmas dinner revolution! Huzzah!

Grilled Scottish venison with horseradish mash and mulled wine syrup
Grilled Scottish venison with horseradish mash and mulled wine syrup

No finding roasting dishes that fit like a game of disappearing square inside your inadequate human-sized oven.  No spending all of your time in the kitchen alone with everyone else in the lounge having fun.  No familiar pain in your tongue from spending all day biting down on it. Just a sea of grilled Scottish venison with horseradish mash and mulled wine syrup, smoked salmon tartare with quail’s egg and caper berries, panettone pudding and lemon syllabub (all said in the dulcet tones of the Marks & Spencer advert lady)

Although it may seem a little less like Christmas without raised voices and falling out with a family member, but trust me, it’s worth it. Go on, enjoy your Christmas dinner, have it somewhere else.  

Tate Christmas menus run from 3rd to 23rd December

See the Tate Restaurant Christmas menu 
Christmas menu, terms and conditions

See the Tate Cafe Christmas menu
Cafe terms and conditions