Dear Mother
Here I am in London. Everyone’s really nice.
I’m living in a massive house. You have to be really quiet ’cause loads of people live here.
There’s Gary, he’s always forgetting to do his washing. There’s Sarah, she’s a right vegan. She leaves mad notes on the fridge. What does it mean? Something about milk.
Penny’s a right slag, she means well. She’s knocked up now so she’s going to get a council flat and I’m going to get her room.
We do loads of crazy stuff. We’re all big fans of the James song Sit Down. And the other day we tried to recreate the album cover for Bohemian Rhapsody. ‘Stop looking at each other, look forward’.
[Singing]
I’m in a top
and I’m in a dress,
I like moving,
I like it less.’
We’re never bored, we all used to have a bath together every night but they kept nicking my head and shoulders so I wash on my own now.
And I know you’ve been worried about me, Mother, but I’m never alone.
Luv, L-U-V, Marrey, M-A-R-R-E-Y.
No I won’t get off with you, Shane, don’t try it again.
