M1: Look at this.
M2: Now, that is what I call a great fruit and veg display.
M1: Wonderful squashes.
M2: Here we go. The Hogarth.
M1: All the roast beef of old England.
M2: It’s a pretty smelly picture isn’t it because you’ve fish down here and it’s a hot sunny day.
M1: What’s this guy?
M2: That’s Hogarth and he’s the arm of the law on his shoulder because…
M1: He got arrested didn’t he?
M2: Yeah. Did a turn in the Bastille.
M1: And, in the background you’ve got the English pub where this roast beef is going to be heading towards, and it’s come in from England to feed the English in France when you’ve got all these starving people around. I mean, this is kind of his revenge to the French as being…for locking him up.
M2: That’s a great looking…
M1: Look at our beautiful beef.
M2: The more I look at this picture of beef the more hungry I’m getting and the more I want to make something beefy.
M1: I’m thinking that it’s got to be something that’s hearty, something that’s delicious and we could cook up a whole sirloin but I think we will do something a bit more modern and I think something like a big burger.
This is all about the Brits coming to France so it’s going to be a beautiful burger – nice baps, nice beef, great sauce.
M2: Right. So, it starts with the baps; strong white flour, pinch of sea salt to season it, some water with dissolved yeast in and finally big knob of lard.
M1: Nice. Proper fat of the land. This London sauce is going to be punchy. It’s all about getting maximum flavour in there, really spiky. Good squirt of the old HP. Lovely. This is the kind of burger that’s going to have those French guys absolutely salivating.
I’m not sure what these guys here are doing. They seem to be praying for their…probably for their lives. They’re about to get burnt at the stake.
M2: Probably for the roast beef because looking at this you can’t help but be inspired by a great cut of beef can you? The sirloin?
M1: It’s got this dark ageing that’s been well hung and this beautiful layer of fat over the top. I mean, that is why we are called ‘le roast beef’ because that is good looking beef. Imagine, slice away the manky outside and inside would have been perfect.
With any good burger it’s all about the beef so what you’re looking for is good quality English beef. You want a little bit of fat in there to keep it extra juicy. Get your hands into there and just mix it all together.
M2: Surely about this time the British Empire was importing lots of these fancy spices and fresh new flavours, so I’d like to think that this is a real celebration of this era. Look at that beautiful, soft, delicious dough and if you stick a thumb in it, bounces back out.
M1: Look at this. That’s a good crown isn’t it? King Charles.
M2: That’s a very impressive crown, yeah.
Right. I know you can see that’s doubled in size.
M1: Yeah. Like the friar’s belly.
M2: If you eat lots of beef that’s what happens. And finally, to finish these off, I’m going to make them into little crowns by snipping them round the outside and then as these rise up they’ll open out into a crown. It’s just a nice finish isn’t it?
M1: Look at this guy. He’s forgot his trousers.
M2: You know how that feels don’t you?
And that’s the sound we want to hear, that sizzle.
M2: You know the pan’s hot and the meat’s going to caramelise on the outside and it’s that caramelisation that’s really delicious. Oh yes. These are ready.
M2: Those beautiful little buns.
M1: Gorgeous. Assemble these bad boys. Put a lovely dollop of this London sauce, bit of salad, bit of health.
M2: And the crowning glory.
M1: Look at that. Gorgeous. You’ve got the beautiful beef in the middle, that’s like the sirloin on the middle of his painting and… You’d need a mouth as big as a portcullis to get your teeth around that.
M2: Yeah, you would. Yeah. Let’s try it and see.
M1: The weight of expectation.
M2: That’s really good.
M1: That’s delicious.
M2: Great painting.
M1: Delicious burger. That is good.