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I sometimes think that… I make my works, my visual art works, the ones that I leave in galleries, you know, are put in different places. I sometimes think that I put them up as a kind of, as something between me and the world, you know, as something to hide behind. The best way to talk about work is to try to make a work right there in front of people and that’s what I was trying to do tonight, I was trying to make something using words. I love making my work doing things and, you know, and I love doing things in front of people but I don’t quite understand why, you know, and I want to understand more why so that I can make better work.
I think that I have been…I think that….I think that….I think that….
I just get sick of myself, you know, and my thoughts, you know, always trying, you know, not being able to stop thinking, you know, and so, you know, you can take a number of… I think there are a number of ways out, you know, drugs or, you know, maybe I would get drunk or… and I don’t think this is much different from that in a certain way it’s an escape.
What’s the primary, what’s the primary, what’s the primary, what’s the primary
I want to get out of myself somehow and I think I am trying to do that by doing these performances or is it quite scary.
Aha, aha, aha, bbb, bbb, bbb, ccc, ddd, eee, fff
It’s also got to do with narcissism as well I think, you know, in anger, I think I am very narcissistic and very, you know, aware of my own or I want to be aware of my own self in my own image. I think that doing things like this is… although in one way it may be, you know, I think I do do it because I like to stand there with people looking at me but in another way its like because its out of control and a bit dangerous to me… for me it’s a bit of an escape I think from my own tendency to narcissism I think.
I like standing up in front of people or, you know, and trying to do… it’s like bungee jumping I think for me, you know, it’s like really slow bungee jumping. It’s like bungee gliding.
I want them to love me, you know, every person I meet I want them to like me, you know, and audiences, a big room full of people.
Someone shake hands add ess and err make someone right take some make right, blow, blow, suck, suck, blow, blow, suck, suck, blow, blow, suck, suck, blow, blow, suck, suck.
I feel ups and downs of the, you know, audience and I sometimes feel like I have got them somehow that we were like and sometimes like I feel like really I get depressed, you know, and my self esteem goes down if I think it is going and it’s a bit of an up and down like that, you know, tonight was up and down and up.